Song requests: which ones help, and when to trust the band

Almost every couple asks the same question at some point: can we choose the songs? The answer is yes, and also that it depends which part of the day you mean. Your choices help a lot in one place, matter less in another, and in the third the best thing you can do is tell us what you love and then let us play.

Ceremony: your songs, with a second opinion

The ceremony is where requests belong. These are the songs you will remember, so it is normal to come with a few in mind, and just as normal to ask us for ideas. We know what works in a ceremony and are happy to suggest songs. Most of the time it ends up as a mix: a couple of your choices that are perfect as they are, and one where our experience is useful.

The one that most often needs a second look is the exit. Couples tend to pick something emotional for it, the same feel as the entrance of the bride or the song during the ceremony. That is the wrong fit for the exit, and the reason is what actually happens in that moment: the ceremony ends, the two of you turn around hand in hand, everyone is clapping and cheering, and you walk out through them. It is the highest-energy point of the whole ceremony. The song has to match it: about love, yes, but upbeat, fast, and into the good part from the first bar with no long intro, because you are already walking. My go-to is “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher” by Jackie Wilson. It does exactly that job every time. You do not need a tearful song at the end; the tears were ten minutes ago.

Reception: leave it to us

At the drinks reception hardly anyone requests songs, and that is the right instinct. This part is background music with a good mood: relaxed but not downbeat, songs people recognise without needing to stop and listen. Nobody dances yet, so nothing needs to be danceable. It just needs to make the air feel good while people stand around with a glass and talk. We have played that hour hundreds of times, so hand it over with a clear conscience.

The party: you booked a sound, so let it play

The party is where I ask couples to think about requests differently. You chose a band because you like the way it sounds, and the way it sounds is the thing you should protect. Asking a band that does one thing to do a different thing is the surest way to end up with a night that is neither.

That does not mean you cannot ask about the set. Most couples do, and I send them our playlist. What I suggest instead of a request list is this: tell me your favourite songs, or better, your favourite bands and the kinds of music you both love. Sometimes we can work one of those songs in. More often we do something more useful with it: we understand your taste from what you have told me, and we shape the night around it. That gets you a party that feels like you without turning the band into a jukebox.

Why the set is called Timeless Classics

Our wedding party set has a name, Timeless Classics, and the name is the brief. The aim is party energy that keeps people dancing, and the set is more or less genreless: a reggae song next to a funk song next to something with a country feel, and often songs that were never any of those things until we covered them in a way that we think works and is fun. Some are modern, some go back to the sixties. What they have in common is that they feel like they have always been there.

That matters more at a wedding than anywhere else, because a wedding has the widest age range of any party you will ever throw. Your grandmother and your friends from university are on the same dance floor. A timeless sound is the sound that keeps both of them there, and that is exactly what Fat Jack Slam is built to do. We lean a little vintage, but the range runs from this year back to the sixties, and it keeps everyone happy.

The part you cannot put on a list

A big part of a band’s job is reading the room. Feeling when the energy is building and pushing it, feeling when people have been dancing hard for a while and need a breather, and giving them a slower song so they can catch their breath, get a drink and be ready for the next build. That flow is what makes a party feel like it never dipped, and it can only be done live, song by song, watching the floor.

Hand a band a long list of must-plays and you take that away from them. They are now working through your list instead of reading your guests. So book a band you trust to get it right, tell them what you love, and let them do it.

Planning a wedding in Tirol? Send me the date and the venue, and if you already have songs in mind, send those too.